Ruined
by Meganlovesjb
Summary: A Nick Jonas One Shot set in the Victorian Era. Warning, rape.
1. Chapter 1

**Ruined**

**Okay, this is something different. It's a historical fic, something I've wanted to try for a while. It's set in the Victorian Era, so keep in mind there are an entire different set of societal norms and morals at play during this time.**

For as long as I could remember, my parents had told me I would one day grow, marry, and have lots of children. I'd been training for it my whole life. I was very young the first time I met Ralph. He was one of my father's business associates, in his mid thirties. I was fifteen when he started to call on me, coming over to spend time with me. I was sixteen when my father told me I would one day marry him and I was seventeen when he proposed. I was now eighteen years old and an engaged woman, the wedding would be this spring, merely a month away.

To say that I loved Ralph would be a lie, but I did not hate him. I could be worse off. He was charming, handsome, doesn't have much of a sense of humour, but a girl could do worse. Most of all he is rich and that is the reason my father was so fond of the idea of our union.

I would not say I was unhappy either, but I would be lying if I said my heart did not ache for something more. Falling in love was for fairy tales, it was not something I had ever expected from my life, but something I had always wanted. Ralph could be controlling and jealous, but he was not cruel. I could have a life with him, give him a family and die happily knowing I had fulfilled my purpose in this world; yet, my heart would always yearn for something more, it was a feeling I had buried deep within me.

My mother tightened my corset as I finished getting ready. "Try not to speak out of place or doing anything foolish today dear, we wouldn't want Ralph changing his mind about you. You have a good thing going here, Darling," she said firmly.

"Mother," I protested.

"Hurry along," she silenced me. I groaned silently to myself as our maid, Elizabeth, helped me to slip on my dress.

*

Ralph turned slowly as I descended the stairs, he watched me carefully, smiling.

"Good morning," he said, offering me his arm. I smiled politely and took it from him, letting him lead me out the front door and into the carriage.

"Should be a pleasant day," he said as we took our seats. "Nicholas' gatherings are always quite nice," he commented, meeting my eyes.

I smiled. "They are," I agreed. Nick was a real gentleman, a nice guy. He was a friend of Ralph's, they worked together and I always enjoyed time spent with him. There were some of Ralph's friends I could not stand, but Nick was not one of them. I'd actually known Nick for quite a while, even before I met Ralph. We were close as children, at a time where no one cared if we spent time together, we were playmates I suppose.

"Has he still yet to find himself a woman to marry?" I asked curiously.

"I believe he is still quite the bachelor," Ralph said with a small chuckle. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," I said quickly. I probably shouldn't have asked about the eligibility of another man. That was one of those "foolish" things I sometimes did that my mother had warned me about. I decided to keep my mouth shut as I gazed out the window, sitting in silence the rest of the way there, Ralph making no effort to carry the conversation either.

We arrived not long after, pulling up to the large home in which Nicholas shared with his family. It was beautiful, big, and white, with acres around and behind it. They had the most beautiful garden in the back yard that seemed to stretch for miles.

Ralph led the way to the back yard where a tent has been set up and party goers lingered, mingling with each other. There was a small band set up in one corner of the yard playing a soft melody. Ralph led me through the crowd, towing me on his arm through the crowds, mingling with people I'd seen before, some I had not. He introduced me as his fiancée, his future wife, sometimes not at all. One of his friends wives and I had a brief conversation, catching up. I was mostly there to look pretty and I knew it.

"Nick," I heard Ralph acknowledge the man walking our way in an affectionate tone.

"Good to see you, Ralph. I'm so glad you could make it," he said coming to stand in front of us. I glanced at him briefly, trying my hardest not to meet his eyes. I was here with my fiancé and he was an unmarried man, a handsome man at that.

"Nice to see you again, Lillian," he said politely. "How have you been?" He asked. I was shocked that he had turned the conversation on me, and failed to ask Ralph about his well being first. I was so shocked that I looked up at him, meeting his gaze curiously. He met mine right back, steadily and to my surprise did not look away. I searched his handsome eyes, and only saw curiosity as he studied my face.

I smiled. "I'm well thank you, yourself?"

"Very well," he gave me a polite smile. I gulped, noting the mistake in my behaviour. I quickly glanced at Ralph, whose gaze went from Nick and landed back on me, lingering there. He looked livid.

"Well I was just on my way to see how dinner was coming along, it shouldn't be long. If you will excuse me," he said politely, nodding to the both of us. I felt his eyes on me from the corner of my eye but didn't dare look up again.

"Ralph, we shall have to get together for a drink," he said casually as he walked away.

"Of course," Ralph responded politely.

"Let's go," Ralph said, roughly tugging on my arm, pulling me forward. I believe I'd just done another one of those "foolish" things I tended to do. I sighed quietly to myself as I heard the dinner bell ring.

* * *

It was the next evening that I saw Ralph again. I was lying in bed reading a book; my parents had gone to the opera for the night, as they did almost every Saturday. I had the night to myself to lose myself in another unrealistic fantasy. If my mother knew I even possessed some of these books, she'd have my head.

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door. I got up, tucking the book under my mattress and pulling my robe over my nightgown to answer it.

It was Charles, our housekeeper.

"Madam, Mr. Louis is here to see you," he said hesitantly.

"He did not tell me he was coming," I said in a confused tone.

"Shall I let him in, miss?"

"Yes, send him up," I said hesitantly.

"I am going to retire for the night. If you need anything, I shall be in my room."

"Yes. Goodnight, Charles," I said with a small smile. He was a nice man.

I pulled my robe tighter; tying it around me and pulling my hair up into a bun quickly while I wondered what is was that Ralph wanted at this hour. It was an outrageous hour for him to be calling on me, with no notice nonetheless.

It was only a few moments later when Ralph stumbled up the stairs and into my room. He leaned on the door frame, leering at me. I tugged my robe tighter, eyeing him curiously.

"Ralph, what are you doing here? My parents are gone for the night; they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. I was just about to head to bed," I said, telling him that it would be best if he leave.

"I was out for drinks with Nick. You know, your future husband," he said with a sneer as he closed the door behind him and stepped into my room. I took a step back.

"Ralph, what are you talking about? I barely know Nick anymore. We are engaged to be married," I insisted. He took another step towards me, stumbling slightly.

"Ralph, how drunk are you? For goodness sake," I said, watching him carefully.

"I saw the way you looked at him, Lillian," he spat, "And the way he was looking at you." He took another step towards me. "Nobody looks at you like that but me, nobody," he said moving to stand in front of me. Our bodies just inches apart.

"You're mine," he said in almost an angry tone. I backed up to distance myself from him but found the back of my knees hitting the bed.

"If I ever catch you looking at him like that again, you will be sorry," he spat.

"Ralph, I think you should leave. Come back tomorrow and we can talk when you're head is clear," I insisted gently, trying to stay calm. He was being outrageous and it was beyond inappropriate for him to be alone in my room with me while no one was home.

He looked at me for a long moment, the possessiveness in his eyes made me shudder. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. Ralph would never harm me; he was to be my husband. But right now, he was scaring me.

"You will be mine one day, all mine," he said eyeing me shamelessly. I pulled my robe tighter self-consciously. I wasn't dressed properly but he hadn't exactly warned me he was coming.

"The wedding is only a month away now. Why wait, my dear?" He said, moving to wrap an arm around my waist, pulling me into him.

"Ralph," I breathed. His lips came crashing down on mine roughly. I pushed him away, gasping in shock as I tried to get him to let me go.

"Stop it, now," I insisted, pushing his chest hard. He stumbled backwards a few feet, a look of rage crossing his face as he glared at me. The only thing I felt when I looked at him now was pure fear.

He stepped forward fiercely, and in a flash the back of his hand collided with my face. I cried out in pain and shock.

"I will take what is mine," he growled, and before I had a chance to recover he pushed me back onto the bed roughly. I looked at him wide-eyed, pushing myself up in an attempt to get away from him.

He took off his overcoat, throwing it to the floor before moving to the bed. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down onto the bed, holding himself on top of me. I pushed at his chest roughly but he grabbed both of my wrists in his hand and held them atop my head, firmly on the bed. I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but rage and jealousy.

"Ralph..." I begged. He slapped me hard against the face again, my head turning with the force. I felt my hair come lose and tumble around my shoulders.

"Quiet," he grumbled. I felt hot tears brimming behind my eyes and it wasn't long before they began to spill over.

"Let's have a look at what will soon be mine," he breathed hoarsely. "Every night."

I blinked hard, averting my gaze from his cold one. He reached down, removing my robe, and tossing it to the side, leaving me in my night gown. He grabbed my face roughly, turning it forward, forcing me to meet his eyes. He took one of his hands and snaked it up my night gown, running it over my legs, thighs and finally the last place I ever wanted his hands.

I swallowed hard, my stomach turning. He let go of my face, using both hands to grip my hips roughly as he slid the nightgown up slowly. I felt a rush of cool air on the lower half of my body before I felt his hands trailing up my torso.

"Please," I sobbed.

He groaned, inching his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath hot on my skin. "One more word, Lilly, and you will regret it," he whispered sharply. I cringed at the nickname; only one man had ever called me that. Yet, I quieted, realizing there wasn't a thing in the world I could do.

He slipped the rest of my nightgown up and pulled it over my head. I watched him leer down at me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. I felt a hot blush rise on my cheeks. Never had I been so exposed. I moved my arms down to cover my chest, but he grabbed them roughly, pinning them at my sides so hard that I was sure he'd formed bruises. I whimpered.

"Nice," he breathed.

He removed his shirt, his eyes never leaving my naked form beneath him as he did so. He then reached for his pants, undressing himself the rest of the way. I noticed he was fully hard and I had to physically stop myself from vomiting as I watched him, his eyes taking in my body. I also noticed how large he was, and another pang of pure terror shot through my body.

He reached forward, his hands roaming my skin, causing me to cringe away from him at his touch. He squeezed my breasts between his hands roughly, pumping himself slowly with his other hand. He leaned over me, taking one of my breasts between his mouth and sucking on it, biting down hard on the nipple. I whimpered.

The tears never ceased, and the sick feeling never left my stomach. He leaned forward, putting his mouth next to my ear. "Stop crying, Lillian," he breathed. "You better get used to this because we'll be doing it an awful lot once I marry you," I gulped, letting out a soft whimper. "Now, stop it and enjoy this," he said reaching down to rub my core.

I squeezed my legs shut tightly in an effort to stop his intrusion. He pulled them apart roughly, groaning in frustration. I tried my best to deny him entrance. He grabbed my hair roughly, pulling my head back roughly as he spoke. "Stop resisting me, you are mine, forever. I've damn well earned this," I cried out.

He let me go, shifting his attention back to where he really wanted it. He took his member between his hands and lined it up with my entrance.

He leaned over top of me, his face just inches from mine as he whispered to me.

"This would hurt a lot less if you were ready for me. Too bad you're too damn stubborn," he said pushing into me roughly, thrusting forcefully. In that moment I was sure I'd never felt anything so painful in my life. I felt like I was being torn in half. I cried out as he pushed himself all the way in, filling me completely before pulling out of me just as roughly.

I was full out sobbing by this point, and subconsciously pushing on his chest to try and get him off of me. He grabbed my arms again, pinning them down above my head as he pushed back into me just as roughly. He grabbed one of my legs, wrapping it around his waist, allowing him deeper access.

His powerful thrusts continued until I thought I could not physically take another second of it. One of his hands gripped my waist, holding me down and pulling me closer to him as he slammed into me mercilessly again and again.

At the moment I felt like I might black out from the pain, he pulled out of me, clearly unwilling to deal with the scandal of my pregnancy just yet. He grabbed my head roughly by the hair and pulled it up towards him.

"Open," he ordered.

I shook my head violently, unable to take another second of this hell. He forced my mouth open and pushed himself inside of me, chocking me with the force. Not only could I taste the evidence of his arousal, but also a hint of my own blood. I gagged around him. Apparently that was enough to send him over the edge as he released himself inside of me. I choked and sputtered but he pulled out of me, pumping himself as he rode out his release. He reached down and clamped my mouth shut roughly.

"Swallow it," he barked roughly. I had no choice but to obey him, nearly puking in the process. He stood from the bed, looking down at me with a smirk on his face. I looked down and saw blood covered my legs, as well as lay in a pool on my sheets.

"Get yourself cleaned up, you look disgusting," he scoffed. "And change the sheets before someone sees them," he ordered, moving to glance out the window.

I sat up painfully, standing with a soft moan. Everything ached. I did what I was told, each movement more painful than the last. Ralph watched me, just leering at me to the point where I thought I might be sick. It took everything in me not to. When I was finished, he walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into him roughly.

"Lay down. I will leave in the morning before your parents return," he whispered. I did as I was told and he climbed into bed beside me, pulling me into him possessively form behind. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me in place.

"If you ever breathe a word of this, I'll have you out on the streets. You'll be selling yourself just to survive," he breathed in my ear. I shivered. "But you wouldn't do that, would you, Lillian? It would ruin your precious reputation, dishonour your family. You'll always be mine now," he said coldly.

And he was right. Even if I went to the police they would not care. What a man does in his own home is his business. I belonged to Ralph. I'm not even a person in his eyes. My opinion and my feelings mean nothing to anyone. I was his property to use as he pleased. And he did.

I fearfully lay like that in his arms, his touch making me want to die. Soon I heard his soft breathing behind me and I knew he was asleep. There would be no sleep for me tonight, however—only tears and pain. I was stuck with him forever now. I had lost my purity. No man would have me now. It was Ralph or the streets. I almost preferred to live in poverty than to go through that every night for the rest of my life.

Almost.

* * *

I walked through the market, looking around at the different meats and vegetables it had to offer. I was thinking of having another dinner party at my residence sometime soon and wasn't sure what to serve for the meal. I was pleasantly surprised however, when I saw Lillian there. She was aimlessly gazing at a selection of meats, seemingly lost in her own little world.

I watched her for a moment, just admiring her beauty. It was a shame Ralph had gotten to her first. I'd always thought she was lovely. We used to be good friends, we grew up together. When Ralph and I started working together and he told me he was to be married, to Lilly no less, I was a bit shocked. But they seemed happy, and so I was happy for her. It was a rare occurrence to see Lillian without Ralph. I suspected he was lingering somewhere nearby, so I kept my distance. I watched her from afar, studying her every movement with envy.

I remembered the way she had looked at me and a small smile made its way to my lips. I have to admit, I had stared right back just as shamelessly. But she was a proper woman and a nice young lady; it was my fault for acting out of custom. I should not have ignored Ralph to speak with her in his presence, it was rude. But I couldn't help myself.

She took an awkward step to the right; it almost appeared as though she was limping. I saw her wince slightly as she moved to a different section of the market. I followed her, careful not to make my presence known. She took another awkward step and went tumbling to the floor. In the process she ripped the sleeve on her dress, revealing what looked to be deep purple bruising on her arms. I let out an involuntary growl and began to make my way over to help her up.

Ralph however beat me to the chase, pulling her up from the ground roughly and into his side. I saw her whimper lightly. I took a step back, staying where I was as I watched him whisper something in her ear. She nodded, taking a deep breath and following him to the busier section of the market. He kept a rough hold on her arm, dragging her along with him.

I watched them from a distance, Ralph's grip on her wrist. The sight made me sick to my stomach as I remembered the party... the way her eyes lingered on mine, followed by the glance to her fiancé. The malice clear in Ralph's eyes as he looked absolutely livid.

When she tripped, I had been ready to dismiss it all, women were clumsy, they fell. But now, seeing the scene before me, I knew there was nothing simple about this. I wanted nothing more than to save her from this man, this man I once called a friend. I wanted nothing more than to help her in any way possible, because I could see what was going on clear as day. Lillian was anything but happy, and Ralph was anything but the gentleman I thought he was.

The problem was I didn't know where to begin. I couldn't go meddling in another man's business. What a man did in his own home was his business. I had no authority to tell Ralph what to do. Ralph was not actually breaking any laws, he owned Lillian. But what he was doing, deep down, I knew was wrong. It made me sick.

There was one thing I could do. I could talk to Lilly; try to make her see reason. I could try and help her find a way out of this before it was too late. Even if I knew it was probably a lost cause.

* * *

It was about noon the next day when I found myself knocking on her front door. Ralph was at work. I knew because I worked with him and I had taken the day off for "personal matters."

Their housekeeper answered the door, an emotionless expression on his face.

"Hello, sir," I gave him my best charming smile. "Is Miss Lillian home?" I asked politely.

"Just a moment," he said retreating from the door. He returned a moment later.

"She'll be right down," he said, ushering me inside. The man retreated into the house and I only had to wait a moment before I saw Lillian retreating down the stairs looking lovely as ever.

"Nicholas, it's great to see you. I wasn't expecting you," she said giving me a small smile that I knew was fake.

"Yes, forgive me. I should have given you some notice, but I just stopped by to say hello if that's alright," I pressed.

"It's fine," she smiled. "I'll have Charles get us some tea," she said, ushering me into the sitting room as she left for a moment. I took a seat and only had to wait a moment for her to return.

She took a seat across from me. I noticed she was still walking with a slight limp, but looked considerably better.

"I just wanted to see if you were alright," I said gently.

"Oh, well, I'm good thank you," she said, averting her gaze from mine. As she turned her head however, I noticed a slight bruise on the side of her head, it was faint and she had tried to cover it with a strand of hair, but it was there nonetheless.

"Lilly, please don't lie to me," I whispered. "I've known you my whole life, I can tell when you're not being honest," I insisted.

She met my eyes again, holding them shamelessly this time.

"It's nothing either of us can do anything about. Please, let it go Nicholas," she begged me with her eyes. But I wouldn't.

"What did he do to you?" I pressed.

"Nothing, he's done nothing," she insisted frantically, I could see her eyes clouding over with tears.

"Why is there a bruise on your face," I asked sternly.

She reached her hand up to move some more hair in front of it from her bun. "There isn't."

"How long has he been beating you?"

Pain flashed behind her eyes as she dropped her gaze, hanging her head in shame. "Please, don't go there Nick, don't do this," she begged.

"Why are you denying this, why are you allowing it? Get out of this now, Lilly, before it's too late. There's still time for you to end this. Don't trap yourself. You aren't even married yet," I reasoned. "I hate seeing you like this, it makes me sick and I can't stand what he's doing to you, and knowing I can do nothing about it."

"No one can do anything about it," she insisted. I saw a tear fall into her lap.

"End it, now."

"I can't, Nick. It's not that simple," she met my eyes again, tears falling freely down her cheeks—it broke my heart.

"He didn't just beat me. He ruined me, okay?" She sobbed lightly. "No one will have me now. No one will want me now. I'm spoiled. I'm stuck with him, forever," she reached up and swatted at her tears furiously.

Rage filled my heart. I felt my fists ball at my sides and my stomach turn at what she was telling me.

Right now I didn't care about anything. I didn't care how completely inappropriate it was, and I didn't care about the consequence of my actions. Lilly was crying in front of me, suffering alone and I wouldn't let her do it for another second. I stood, moving to sit beside her on the couch. She looked up and met my eyes and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a comforting hug. To my surprise she clung onto me, hugging me back and sobbing into my chest. My heart shattered with each sob that escaped her mouth.

I reached up and pushed the hair from her face, gently stroking her bruise.

"I do," I breathed. Truth is I always had wanted her. Purity meant nothing to me, I could care less. It was my heart that wanted her. I wanted all of her, not just her body.

She met my eyes again, shock filling them. "You can't be serious," she whispered.

"I am," I gave her a small smile. "Let me help you get out. I'll help you through this; I'll help you escape from him, and once you're safe, then we'll talk," I said gently, not wanting to push her into anything or make her feel obligated.

She smiled; hope glimmering behind her broken eyes.

"Okay," she breathed.

**I can honestly say I've never written something so challenging. This was tough for sure. I did research and everything lol.  
Anyways, it was hard, but I'm proud of the way it turned out. Please leave me some love and let me know what you thought.**

-Megan


	2. Chapter 2

_**Part Two**_

**By popular demand I decided to continue with this one and turn it into a two shot, so here is part two.**

It took me a solid hour of pacing my room before I got up the courage to do it. It had been a few days since my conversation with Nick and I knew he was right. I would be miserable for the rest of my life if I allowed myself to be forced into a marriage with Ralph. I didn't think I would physically or mentally be able to take the daily beatings or the nightly rapes for the rest of my life. So I took a deep breath and descended the stairs.

My mother was sitting in the lounge reading a book when I stepped inside. She looked up at me curiously and offered a small smile.

"Mother, can I speak with you a moment?"

She raised an eyebrow and nodded, ushering for me to sit in the chair across from her.

I took a deep breath, studying her face as I said is hesitantly. "I cannot marry Ralph."

She watched me for a moment, confusion crossing her face, before she let out a small chuckle.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you're going to marry Ralph," she scoffed dismissively, turning her attention back to the book in her hand.

"Mother, please. I do not wish to marry him," I pleaded, trying to get her to understand.

She huffed. "Child, don't be foolish. Ralph is a good match. He is wealthy, he is a business man and he will take care of you."

"Mother, he is not kind," I pleaded.

"What do you mean?"

"He...hurt me," I said quietly.

"Well then you must have done something foolish, which would not surprise me. Do not anger him and he will have no reason to be harsh with you," she said simply.

"Father does not hurt you," I stated, confused.

"Not when I obey him, no. He is quite kind and reasonable."

I couldn't believe what she had just said to me. I stood abruptly, "I will not marry him," I said firmly.

I turned to leave the room, trying not to show how enraged I was becoming.

"You will," she said simply. "Do not make me bring this to your father's attention," she warned.

I had faith that my father would understand so it did not matter to me. "I will not," I repeated, turning to leave the room.

A few minutes later found me in my room, sitting in a chair by the window and staring into nothing. I couldn't believe it. My own mother would condemn me to a life of misery.

Had she been right though? Was I being foolish? If I had just given into Ralph and done what he asked of me, he wouldn't have had to hurt me so. Maybe I had just never been one to really obey orders and I needed to start. However, the thought of waking up to Ralph every morning made my stomach turn and I rested my head in my hands, lost in confusion.

I heard a soft knock on the door and stood hesitantly to answer it. My father stood there, a soft look in his eyes.

"Can I talk with you?" He asked.

"Father," I pleaded. "I do not wish to marry Ralph."

He shook his head, looking down sadly. "He will be able to look after you, and provide a good life for you when I no longer can. You will marry him, dear," he said regrettably.

"Father, please! He—"

"I do not want to hear it, Lillian," he said sternly, meeting my eyes harshly.

"It has all been arranged, the wedding is so soon. You cannot break off the engagement now for no reason," the testosterone in his voice made me cringe away from him.

"It is not for no reason, he is cruel to me," I pleaded, tears brimming in my eyes.

"Because sometimes you need to be put in your place, Lillian," he roared, stepping towards me.

"I have done nothing wrong!"

"Enough!" He roared, raising his hand in anger to strike me. He watched me for a moment before lowering it with a sigh.

"Why are you doing this to me? Do you wish to dishonour the whole family? Do you know this will do to us?" He asked sadly.

"Father," I sobbed. "I don't mean to hurt you, I just..."

"Lillian, you will marry Ralph in a month's time, I will not discuss it farther. If you refuse, I can no longer call you my daughter, as you will bring great shame upon the family," he said sadly, looking tired as he watched me.

"Decide. Marry Ralph, or quite simply get out," he gestured towards the door with his hand.

I let out a sob as I watched my father's heart break at what he was doing.

"I'm sorry, father. I love you but I will not live with the torture he has put me through for the rest of my life," I reasoned, tears falling freely down my cheeks.

I turned from him, gathering some of my things together in a suitcase. I only took essentials and I could feel my father watching me the entire time.

"Goodbye then, Lillian," he said, a sadness in his voice I had never heard.

I turned to face him, my things in hand but I did not meet his eyes.

"He raped me," I choked out before brushing past him and out the door. I heard him turn as I descended the stairs but I did not look back.

That was the last time I ever spoke with my parents.

* * *

I knocked on the door, furiously pounding on it as the rain started to pour harder. I heard the carriage pull out of the lane way and I cursed myself. Why had I come here? I looked around furiously, hoping no one would notice me. I was way out of line showing up at his house. We hadn't even talked about how he was going to "help me" yet. I'd kind of just taken matters into my own hands.

This was not part of the plan, me just dumping myself on his doorstep. We hadn't even made a plan yet. Oh this was foolish, so foolish. I was about to turn and leave when the door flung open before me; a plump, older looking woman answered it in an apron.

"Hello, dear," she smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Uhh," before I could decide whether or not to just leave, I saw Nick walking up behind her, a worried expression on his face.

"Lilly?" He asked, stepping in front of her to usher me inside gently.

"Hi, I...I'm sorry. I should've come, I just..."

"Nonsense," he said shutting the door behind him and taking my things.

"Betsy, take Miss Lillian's things upstairs and find her something dry to wear," he said urgently.

He reached up to brush the wet hair from my face. "You're soaked," he said, the worry in his voice evident as he led me to the lounge and we sat down near the warm fireplace.

"What happened," he looked up through his handsome unruly curls to study my face.

"Umm, well I kind of just went ahead and told them I wasn't going to marry Ralph," I let out a small smile. "My father kicked me out."

"You are brave," he noted, kindly.

"I don't know why I came here."

"I told you I would help you," he answered simply.

"I don't know what I expect you to do. I cannot very well stay here. Monday morning you will go to work with my father. I should just leave," I stated simply.

"I will not have you on the streets. You have nowhere to go. Besides, I care for you too much not to look after you," he smiled sadly.

"What am I going to do?" I asked in defeat, glancing away from him and to the moving flames before me.

"Do you remember when I told you I cared for you a great deal? That I thought you were amazing?" He asked gently.

I nodded, meeting his eyes again. "I meant it. Lillian, you are wonderful and I want nothing more than to take care of you," he breathed.

"But Nick, it's impossible," I breathed.

"I'm going to quit my job. I cannot work with your father any longer. I'll sell the house, I can find work anywhere and we can live anywhere. Come with me, Lilly. We'll start over some place new, we'll make a fresh start," he said hopefully.

"We cannot just live together, Nicholas," I reasoned.

"Then I'll marry you," he said simply, a smile playing on his lips.

"I couldn't ask you to do that for me," though my heart leapt at the thought.

"You don't have to; I want to," he said standing. He moved to kneel in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"I could be so happy with you, Lilly. Maybe one day you could be happy with me too," he smiled, reaching up to brush the hair from my face gently as I felt my eyes brimming with happy tears.

"I could treat you right," he promised. "I know it will take time, but you could get used to being with me. And just because we marry does not mean I expect anything from you, we can take it at your pace. We can take it slow," he encouraged.

I placed a finger to his lips to silence him. "I could be happy with you; I just don't understand why you would want me," I breathed.

"Because I've never wanted anything else," he said simply. My heart melted as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back tightly, as a feeling of happiness I'd never known swept over me.

* * *

It took us about two weeks to get moved and settled in to our new accommodations. We had started preparations immediately and the process had been a fast one. I'd found work easily in a town a few hours away. We'd found a beautiful house that we could enjoy together. We'd been spending every waking moment together and when we were finally settled I married her.

The few weeks before the wedding were bliss for me. I do not recall a moment when a smile was not present on my face, and I can honestly say I'd never seen Lillian happier. Every once and a while I would catch her staring at me, like she couldn't believe how lucky she'd gotten. Little did she know when she wasn't looking, I was doing the exact same thing.

Our wedding was a quiet one. It wasn't lavish, obviously. It had just been the two of us at the local church. The eyes of God were the only ones we needed watching us, the only ones that mattered to us.

That night, I carried her into our room as she giggled, her eyes shining brightly up at me as I lay her down on our bed. I climbed onto it next to her, loving the playful happy look in her eyes as she looked at me.

We just lay there for a long moment as I gazed at her, and how beautiful she looked in her wedding gown.

"I'm sorry that I'm not pure for you, Nick," she whispered after a moment, looking away from me in shame.

"Don't ever apologize for what he did to you, ever," I breathed, tilting her head gently to face me.

"The first time you make love will be to me, and you will enjoy it, as a woman should," I said gently, brushing the hair from her face.

"None of that matters to me, Lilly. Do not be ashamed of yourself, and I understand if you're not ready for this. We can wait. I'll wait as long as you want," I assured her.

"No," she breathed. "I want to be with you, I just—"

"You're scared," I breathed. She was probably terrified. The only intimate experience she had ever been through had been horrific and humiliating, not to mention painful.

"I will not hurt you like he did, I promise you," I whispered, kissing her lips gently. She half heartedly responded to my kiss, her lips brushing mine. It was clear she was lost in thought.

"I want to make you feel good, I want to make love to you the way a man should, and I want you to enjoy it. We won't do this until you're ready," I breathed.

"No, I'm ready," she breathed, her hands shaking beneath me. She was so nervous.

I leaned down, kissing her lips again chastely, gently, showing her how much I cared about her.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, Lilly. Let me show you what it should feel like when a man touches you, a man that cares about you," I whispered, kissing her neck lightly. I grabbed her shaking hand in mine to steady it, bringing it to my mouth to place a gentle kiss on her finger where her ring now lay, a promise of my affection.

She met my eyes, terror behind them as she looked at me. She was breaking my heart. He really was that cruel to her. I wondered briefly what exactly he had said to her while he terrorized her to make her feel this dirty and worthless.

"I can't do this. You're shaking. You aren't ready for this, Lilly," I breathed.

"No," she choked out, tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she pleaded. "I can do this," she insisted, reaching for my shirt, tugging on it gently.

I grabbed her hand firmly in mine. "No, you can't," I locked my gaze with hers as I saw a few tears spill over.

I leaned down and gently kissed them away. "But, it's our wedding night," she argued, in awe that I wasn't forcing this on her.

"Exactly, which means there will be thousands of other nights in which I can express my love for you. Tonight is not one of them, and that's fine," I assured her, wiping away the remainder of her tears.

She reached up, gripping my shirt between her hands, clinging onto me as she cried softly. "You're too good to me," she breathed. She didn't think she deserved to be treated well, my heart ached.

"I only ever want to make you happy," I breathed, pulling her into me. She clung onto me, pulling her frame into mine as she began to sob lightly.

I sighed and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. "I love you," I whispered. It was true. I'd said it earlier for the purpose of our wedding, knowing it was expected of me. Most of the time when it was said it didn't mean anything. Most marriages were not by choice, but more of a business arrangement like hers had been with Ralph. I wanted her to know that it meant something to me. I wanted her to know that I meant it with my whole heart and I had since we were children.

She looked up, meeting my eyes. "I— "

I placed my finger to her lips lightly. "Don't say it back. Not until you mean it with your whole heart, and I hope one day you will."

"Thank you," she breathed, burying her head back into my chest.

"For what?"

"Loving me, in every sense of the word," she mumbled. "For being so kind to me," I ran my fingers through her hair gently, just watching her.

"Sleep, Lilly. Today was the happiest day of my life, never doubt that," I assured her, pulling her close. I wrapped the sheets around us, holding her as her tears stopped. She tried to be strong for me, to burry everything. Only twice had she cried in my presence about the horrific night that ruined her, in every sense of the word. She needed to get it out and to know that I loved her regardless.

"You're wonderful. No matter what he said to you, you're amazing," I assured her.

She clung onto me tighter. It wasn't too long before her mental exhaustion took over and I felt her breathing deeply beside me. I watched her sleep. Her face looked almost peaceful but it never quite got there. Her tears had dried on her cheeks and her hair fell in waves around her face. I'd rarely seen Lilly without her hair up, it was beautiful.

I studied her sleeping form. It pained me that she thought so little of herself, when to me, she was everything, and I hoped one day she would understand that.

* * *

It was two weeks later when we finally consummated our marriage. I walked into our sleeping quarters and undressed, readying myself for bed. I was shocked when I felt her walk up behind me, placing her head gently on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around my waist. I sighed happily into her touch, wrapping my arms around her own.

We had been happy. I'd enjoyed every second I spent with her and thanked God everyday for helping me to find someone I could truly enjoy my life with. But what brought me the most joy was to see Lillian happy. She smiled, she laughed, and she had that sparkle in her eye back that had disappeared for so long.

She ran her arms lightly across my torso as I stood there clad in only my pants. She moved her soft fingers over my abs, tracing the lines of muscle lightly. She moved them lower, tracing the skin just above my pant line, feeling the muscles of my back. I turned in her arms, facing her so I could watch her.

She was wearing only her nightgown, staring straight ahead at my bare chest. She leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on my chest and I sighed. I leaned forward, tilting her chin up gently so I could meet her eyes.

"Lilly," I breathed. She held my gaze steadily.

"We don't have to do this," I assured her.

"I want to."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded quickly, yet I could still feel her hand trembling gently on my stomach.

I reached up, cupping her face gently, and pressed my lips to hers. She responded, kissing me back urgently.

I kissed her gently, softly, almost chastely. One of my hands traveled to her waist, pulling her into me. The other found her hair. I tangled my hands in it, helping to pull it free of the bun she had it styled in. It fell lose, I ran my hands through it gently as it fell around her shoulders, loving her soft curls. I pulled back just looking at her for a moment, taking in her natural beauty. My hand traveled down her neck, softly grazing the skin there as I kissed her again.

I lifted her lightly in my arms, bridal style and set her down on the bed.

"Lay down, love," I whispered.

She obliged, lying back as I climbed on top of her, supporting my weight above her. I reached down, cupping her face and kissing her again, just as gently.

I wanted to show her there was no reason to fear me. I wanted to be as gentle as possible, to show her that making love could be a beautiful thing, not just painful and humiliating like Ralph had proved to her. She'd known nothing else and I wanted her to feel good and to enjoy herself.

I was not a virgin myself, the local brothels had been enough to satisfy me until I found a woman that I wanted to spend my life with, but no woman I had ever had ever made me feel like Lilly did.

I kissed down her jaw gently and back up to her lips. She reached up and placed her hand softly on my chest, moving it slowly against my skin. Her touch sent a shiver through my body as we continued to kiss, just enjoying each other's touch.

She had relaxed considerably since the last time we had tried this, but was still tense and terrified, her stiff demeanour told me that much. I slipped one of my hands under her night gown, softly grazing her thigh, until I reached her ass, grazing it gently. I pushed her night gown up farther as she wrapped her arms around my neck, deepening our kiss and pulling herself into me.

I brushed across her core gently, causing her breath to hitch. I moved my hand up higher, bring her clothing with it. I gently grazed her breast as my hand moved higher and she arched into my touch. She loosened her arms from around my neck to allow me to slip the garment up and off of her. It was discarded to the floor and my attention turned back to Lily, lying before me. I noted a blush rising on her cheeks as she lay naked before me. She moved her arm to drape it across her stomach and I grabbed it.

"Do not hide from me; you are so beautiful," I whispered, reassuring her. I took in her form before me, she was gorgeous. I felt myself growing harder against her leg and looked up at her still fearful eyes, the hand I was now holding in mine, trembling. I reached forward and kissed it gently.

"Please, don't be scared. I won't hurt you," I breathed.

"I'm not," she lied, badly, her voice quivering.

I captured her lips with mine once again, my hands roaming her bare skin, the flesh warm beneath my touch. I grazed one of her hardened nipples, pinching and pulling on it gently. I heard a soft moan escape her lips as she arched into me. I placed a trail of kisses from her jaw to her neck and finally to her breasts, sucking on one of them gently. My other hand found her core, running my hands across it gently.

She let out a ragged breath at the contact, her eyes closing in pleasure. I moved my fingers gently in a circle, harder than I had before. Her breath hitched once again. I noted that she was becoming wet and I slipped a finger gently and slowly inside of her, as to not make it uncomfortable. She let out another soft moan so I added another one, preparing her for what was to come.

"Nick," she gasped.

"Yes, love?"

"Please, don't stop," she breathed.

I moved my fingers in and out of her slowly, rubbing her with my thumb as I did so. She arched off the bed and into my touch. My other hand continued to tweak her breasts between my fingers, pinching and rolling her nipples between my fingers.

I wanted to show her that a man could make her feel good, as I continued to pleasure her, becoming extremely aroused myself at the sound of her soft moans.

When I could tell she was close, I stopped my movements abruptly. She whimpered lightly at the loss of contact. I captured her lips once again in mine.

She was no longer shaking as she reached forward and bravely toyed with the hem of my pants. Her hand grazed my hardness and I felt my own breath hitch. She helped me push them down as I tugged the remainder of my clothing off and kicked it to the floor.

She took in the sight of me, naked above her and she met my eyes again. "You're so handsome," she breathed, kissing me, this time passionately. When I met her eyes again I saw that they were mixed with lust and fear. I was fairly big and I knew she feared that I would hurt her, despite being careful.

I cupped her face gently. "Trust me," I whispered.

"I trust you," she nodded, biting her lip. To prove her point, she reached forward and gave my member a soft tug. My eyes closed as I groaned in pleasure.

I kissed her again gently for a distraction as I positioned myself at her entrance before slowly guiding myself in. I felt her tense at the intrusion and ran my hands soothingly up and down her body. I stayed still, giving her time to adjust as we just kissed.

"You okay?"

I felt her nod so I pulled out slowly and pushed back in. She was so tight, and felt so good. It was unlike anything I had felt before and I had to hold myself back. I continued this slow pace, rubbing her gently as I did so. I groaned at the feeling of being inside her.

After a moment she began to respond, enthusiastically. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into her as I kissed her fiercely. My tongue grazed her teeth, slipping inside of her mouth as I continued to move inside of her.

"You can go faster," she breathed, moaning as I pushed back into her, harder. She gasped as I hit her spot, her eyes fluttering in pleasure.

I pushed into her again, harder and a little faster, she moaned.

"You okay?" I panted.

She nodded, reaching her hand up to lovingly push my curls from my, face now laced with sweat, as was both of our bodies. I grabbed one of her legs, lifting it around my waist as I pushed deeper into her. She wrapped the leg closely around me, pulling me into her, meeting my thrusts.

"Nick...so good," she breathed. Her words made me happy, that was all I'd ever wanted to do.

I reached up, squeezing her ass gently as I pulled her closer to me, out bodies as close as they could get. My other hand found her breasts, squeezing them roughly, earning a loud moan from Lilly.

I pushed into her again and again and it wasn't long before I felt her clenching around me. She gripped me tightly, her fingers digging into my back as she came, panting beneath me. It was a few short seconds later that I felt myself swelling inside of her, reaching my own climax. I rode out my orgasm, pushing into her a few more times before I stilled, also panting hard.

I reached down and pushed the slick hair from Lilly's face, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She opened her eyes to meet mine. I searched them for any sign of regret but saw only happiness. She smiled, before pulling me down onto her and I collapsed on top of her. I felt my chest against hers and she reached up, running her hands through my slick hair as we caught our breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

She ignored my question, just lying there for a moment.

"Thank you," she said after a moment. I pulled out of her, laying beside her and just watched her for a moment, not sure how to answer that.

Instead I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her and just holding her, loving the feeling of her in my arms. I loved that she was mine, that we could just lay there, being together, out of the watchful and judgmental eyes of society. I loved that I could hold her and cuddle with her. I suddenly felt very possessive of her. I placed a kiss to her temple as our breathing returned to normal.

"I love you," I heard her whisper. My eyes widened. She turned her head to look at me and I studied her face. "I truly do," she said holding my gaze. "I've been falling for you since we were children," she chuckled lightly.

"Thank you, Nick," she breathed, "for everything. You are a perfect gentleman and I couldn't ask for anything else from life. You make me so happy, and I am grateful," she spoke softly.

"This is how I want to spend my life," I whispered in her ear, squeezing her tightly, "with you in my arms each night."

"It doesn't matter what they think, any of them. My happiness lies in you, and you are all I'll ever need," I promised her.

She turned to face me, tears brimming in her eyes as she placed a hand on my chest and I held her close.

"I love you," I assured her.

"With my whole heart," she choked, pressing her lips to mine.

**The End.**

**So it's actually finished this time, promise. I'm rather proud of the way this whole thing turned out, despite the difficulties I had with it.  
Please leave me a comment with your thoughts, they mean so much.  
xox  
-Megan. **


End file.
